For Trudy...and anyone else destined for CHANGE

For Trudy

Trudy Hopkins is the epitome of the word PHENOMENAL.

Trudy is extremely supportive to anyone who crosses her path, loves unconditionally-I've never seen anyone love their husband and animals so selflessly.
Trudy never wants anything in return-except for people to be drawn to Christ by her life which she consistently offers as an example.

Each of us needs a Trudy in our lives. Even if you can't reach out to a literal person, look to these web posts for like inspiration.
Begin this journey by promising from this moment forward to consistently take inventory of the things you're grateful for, the breakthroughs you've experienced, the setbacks and your process to overcome...

As I've requested you to complete the assignment, I thought there's no better time than the present to practice what I preach....

Trudy has inspired me to grow in key ways. They are:

1) Challenging me to question my motives. To truly make certain they're Gods perfect plan rather than mines, hers or someone Else's.

2) To increase my gratitude muscle. Trudy and Tena are two of the most grateful people I know. They always put a favorable twist on the most challenging situations. I thought I had gratitude mastered until these two women emerged to constantly call me to my greatness.

3) To truly invest in marriage. NO one ever tells you BEFORE you marry the work that goes into it. They also don't tell you how the stakes dramatically raise when bonus children (aka step-children) and age differences with your spouse are involved.

4) To always make time for what matters most. I knew this already, yet it's a beautiful thing when you get to see it practiced in front of you.

5) To NEVER give up. Trudy has had her share of setbacks. She's experienced difficulty within her family, extended family, friends, acquaintances, with work, her health and now with having to recover from a stroke she had 11/19/09.
There have been lots of uphill battles, yet she always pulls herself together. Trudy knows how to exercise her childlike faith to trump whatever daunting task faces her. I have so much more materially than Trudy; yet she runs circles around me with her emotional wealth!
I know I'll get there because I now make it my priority to let people OWN their own STUFF....so Trudy watch out! I'm a quick study you know.

6) To forgive. I had some major opportunities for growth in thus area. If you're honest with yourself-we all have. It's imperative to get unforgiveness resolved or it ruins you and everything that interacts with you. I see unforgiveness like. Sludge which overtakes everything. The longer it isn't dealt with, the worse it becomes. It causes sleepless nights, excessive weight gain, vendettas, emotional withholding from the very people you should be most connected to, ruins marriages and friendships, alienates you from yourself and others, and keeps you prisoner to the past because you do everything you can to keep your guard intact.


There is a better way & it's called grace.

Grace is the divine influence upon your heart and it's reflection is made apparent in life.

Grace is necessary. Without it you'll never be gracious, unconditional and loving toward yourself.

What you can't give to yourself, you're never truly able to give to others.....

Join the CHANGE revolution and commit to forgive yourself for the past, value the present and strategiesto implement for the future using inherent strengths.

Lastly, let's pray for Trudy's complete recovery....there's several lessons left for all of us to learn from her!

To your phenomenal life,

Pen name Tatum

Identify Distorted Thought Patterns...

The kindest form of life management is to recognize the truth about yourself. It's the discovery of self which enables meaningful interactions with others. At first glance this statement seems pretty easy to accept until we are forced to apply it to an area of our lives that's at some sort of standstill.

The standstills are in fact places where recovery is desperately needed. They also happen to be the places where resistance is subconsciously or consciously stronger than ever.

Why is this?

It's incredibly revealing, painful, disturbing and regretful to look at the totality of our lives. To make matters worse, not many of us were raised to "do endings well" so rather than face the possibility of confrontation, we learn to internalize what's wrong, & second guess ourselves. This leads to mistrust of self and the world around us & a lifetime supply of ego and pride which provides a false satisfaction that keeps us UNdelightfully STUCK!

So we go through life with a limp that diminishes our courage to fight our battles alone.

After getting past the negative self talk & the ramblings of my ego which rationalized the counterproductive behavior, I came to the realization that I tend to internalize things. After I identified my need, the next step was to identify the last several times I did things differently, leaving my thoughts and inner voices intact. These were the discoveries:

1) I didn't internalize the situation when I spoke up for myself.
2) I didn't internalize the thoughts as long when I quickly shifted my thought toward something else.
3) I didn't internalize the situation and thoughts when I read affirming thoughts previously created by myself when the world seemed a o.k.
4) I didn't internalize when I spent time with people who were affirming, yet honest with me. Essentially when I felt they had my best interest at heart, I was free to share more of myself authentically.
5) I didn't internalize information when I would read, memorize & meditate upon scriptures.

Now its your turn to identify an area of need & list the discoveries when you noticed life was somehow different. Even in the midst of the storm, or biggest setback, you noticed calm waters.

So with my list in hand, I played the movie in my mind by recalling the three areas of my life, most in need of this sort of change. They were professionally, emotionally and relationally.

Since these three areas were going in 3 different directions, synergy was required if recovery was my ultimate goal. Synergy occurs when two or more things are working together (muscles or drugs for example) to produce an effect greater than the sum of their individual effects.

The tools I had in my possession could assure change as long as I became increasingly mindful of the ways I people please, exercising the choice to say no as well as share "what's true for me" without second guessing myself. Although setbacks and mistakes were certain, now I could endure past the past and anticipate the result: reclaiming the free-spirit nature I never knew.

This is a journey that I've discovered is life long, meandering and is getting a little easier on some days, less easier on others, yet all the while well worth it. I also have noticed that I'm better at expressing my viewpoint, than I was even weeks ago.
Literally, every day in every way, I am getting better and better.

And so can you! Share your journey to inspire me and countless others.