For Trudy...and anyone else destined for CHANGE

For Trudy

Trudy Hopkins is the epitome of the word PHENOMENAL.

Trudy is extremely supportive to anyone who crosses her path, loves unconditionally-I've never seen anyone love their husband and animals so selflessly.
Trudy never wants anything in return-except for people to be drawn to Christ by her life which she consistently offers as an example.

Each of us needs a Trudy in our lives. Even if you can't reach out to a literal person, look to these web posts for like inspiration.
Begin this journey by promising from this moment forward to consistently take inventory of the things you're grateful for, the breakthroughs you've experienced, the setbacks and your process to overcome...

As I've requested you to complete the assignment, I thought there's no better time than the present to practice what I preach....

Trudy has inspired me to grow in key ways. They are:

1) Challenging me to question my motives. To truly make certain they're Gods perfect plan rather than mines, hers or someone Else's.

2) To increase my gratitude muscle. Trudy and Tena are two of the most grateful people I know. They always put a favorable twist on the most challenging situations. I thought I had gratitude mastered until these two women emerged to constantly call me to my greatness.

3) To truly invest in marriage. NO one ever tells you BEFORE you marry the work that goes into it. They also don't tell you how the stakes dramatically raise when bonus children (aka step-children) and age differences with your spouse are involved.

4) To always make time for what matters most. I knew this already, yet it's a beautiful thing when you get to see it practiced in front of you.

5) To NEVER give up. Trudy has had her share of setbacks. She's experienced difficulty within her family, extended family, friends, acquaintances, with work, her health and now with having to recover from a stroke she had 11/19/09.
There have been lots of uphill battles, yet she always pulls herself together. Trudy knows how to exercise her childlike faith to trump whatever daunting task faces her. I have so much more materially than Trudy; yet she runs circles around me with her emotional wealth!
I know I'll get there because I now make it my priority to let people OWN their own STUFF....so Trudy watch out! I'm a quick study you know.

6) To forgive. I had some major opportunities for growth in thus area. If you're honest with yourself-we all have. It's imperative to get unforgiveness resolved or it ruins you and everything that interacts with you. I see unforgiveness like. Sludge which overtakes everything. The longer it isn't dealt with, the worse it becomes. It causes sleepless nights, excessive weight gain, vendettas, emotional withholding from the very people you should be most connected to, ruins marriages and friendships, alienates you from yourself and others, and keeps you prisoner to the past because you do everything you can to keep your guard intact.


There is a better way & it's called grace.

Grace is the divine influence upon your heart and it's reflection is made apparent in life.

Grace is necessary. Without it you'll never be gracious, unconditional and loving toward yourself.

What you can't give to yourself, you're never truly able to give to others.....

Join the CHANGE revolution and commit to forgive yourself for the past, value the present and strategiesto implement for the future using inherent strengths.

Lastly, let's pray for Trudy's complete recovery....there's several lessons left for all of us to learn from her!

To your phenomenal life,

Pen name Tatum

What men want?

We fall in love as a noun (aka feeling). Love has to become a verb (your actually doing something which WORKS positively) if you want the relationship to LAST.

People who remain in love years later intentionally engage….over and over and over; especially when it seems the most difficult.

Dealing with men requires a PLAN, which consists of more than eHarmony.

Guys & Gals can even now get in on the game of love with minimal effort! Just open the laptop & with a few clicks there’s access to over 1500 organizations promising a love connection.

With so much technology at our fingertips, it’s so easy to “fall in”, yet EXTREMELY difficult to remain in love. So to get the answer to the way to a mans heart for keeps, I looked online, scoured the shelves of the bookstore, magazine racks, discussed the issue with several male friends, et al. It pretty much boiled down & echoed Scott Andrews compiled list:

1. Men want a fun and exciting (female) companion.
2. Men want great sex (consistent, frequent, and passionate lovemaking score high with men).
3. Men want to share meals with their woman companion (especially when she cooks for him).
4. Men want you to support them in their work and boost their confidence.
5. Men want you to look great, keep in shape, and express confidence about your body.
6. Men want you to listen to them and treat them with respect.
7. Men need private time, to unwind, to engage in sports and hobbies, and to spend time with other men.

Can this be done?
Based on your perspective this list will be a cinch or a cause for massive anxiety. Think of this list as something that’s a cinch for anyone who’s committed to mindfulness-an unending desire for servant-hood.

So how might we master mindfulness to make love last?
Always treat someone better than they deserve. The goal isn’t to be right. It’s to remain passionate about the success of the relationship.

Always express interest in what interests others. Yes, you have to actually do something other than BE. For instance, I’m all about adventures that take place in temperatures that hover in the 70’s (81 degrees max) & the luxuries of life…that includes shopping for BARGAINS! I’m eternally joyful for treats, great restaurants & meaningful conversation.
On the other hand, my husband is the selective frills type. Give him Lake Havasu, death wrenching heat, his boat, fishing, silence and he’s satisfied….oh yeah with numbers 1-6 complied by Scott Andrews available like a Hoteliers Concierge & he’s a happy camper.

What I define as misery, he defines as heaven on earth & vice versa for my love of shopping & his blatant disdain for what I love to do….SHOP!

The game changing play…
Practice mutual submission. Do this regularly & you’ll become the quarterback for the relationship. No one in the relationship becomes more important than the other. Sure I have to allow my husband to take responsibility for leading the relationship, however there’s no bossing.

From this moment onward, lets opt for relationship over selfishness. LIFEPOINT: You can’t demand what you want & still get what you deserve.

You can be right, yet will ULTIMATELY lose what you value most. Your relationship!

So men, did I leave anything out? It’s your opportunity to school us women. We want to get it right, so we can get & keep the prize…

Women, take the ideas for a test drive & share the favorable results.