What are you building with your life? The common denominator for breakthrough.

There are many large, extravagant homes in the world, but the Winchester Mansion stands out from the crowd because of the strange features you will find inside. For example, there are a number of staircases that literally go nowhere, stopping at the ceiling. You might think that somebody decided to close off a staircase, but actually, they were designed that way.
Some of the more functional staircases are also strange. One of them is nicknamed the "switchback staircase" because it turns seven times and has 44 steps, even though it only goes up about nine feet. Why would somebody design a staircase like that?
For that matter, why would somebody design any of the oddities in the Winchester house?

The Winchester house was under construction 24-hours a day, seven days a week, for 38 years. Eventually it spread to 160 rooms from a mere 8, but when Sarah Winchester suddenly died, the entire project came to a grinding halt.

How this correlates to our lives?

Most of us haven’t built a senseless mansion with secret rooms or staircases that don't go anywhere, but maybe your life is a terrible mess, or you live in constant fear, with a broken heart, resentment, regret or uncertainty of what your future holds.

This causes you to feel addicted and trapped like Sarah, yet for different reasons. Sarah was the wife of William Winchester, the son of the man who made the famous Winchester repeating rifle. Sarah and William had one child, a little girl named Annie, who died of a protein deficiency six weeks after birth. Fifteen years later, her husband William died of pulmonary tuberculosis, leaving her feeling lost & searching for answers.

Sarah sought answers from a psychic who indicated she and her family were under a curse due to selling Winchester riffles and the only method of escape was to move to the West Coast and build a property the way the spirits led.
Sarah was so desperate for a solution that she didn’t pay attention to the obvious-there was another way of probable escape from her loneliness. Ultimately Sarah found herself knee deep in renovation madness which ensued 24-hours per week, 365 days per year. Who in their right mind would sign up to live through constant remodeling?
I think of the many times I’ve repeatedly wrestled with frustrating esteem debilitating issues, only to believe my options were limited (or non-existent) because of failing to open myself to the possibility that things could be different.

So how do we get past our past?

You have to reduce everything down to the least common denominator.
The common denominator is the same all the time. You can work the common denominator and ultimately arrive at an answer. There is a feasible answer to each troubling question, no matter the situation, which WORKS.
Discovering the common denominator is the ONLY way to get past our past. It reveals the quality decision needing to be made, including the measurable, actionable steps.

1st: Face the truth about the situation we are dealing with. Honestly describe what you’re dealing with and TEMPORARILY grieve the circumstance. You’re human; hurt, anguish and defeat are normal emotions.

2nd: Identify solutions and those resources (people, books, cd’s, etc), which helps to conquer the circumstance, repeatedly undermining you.

3rd: Get moving by actively applying what’s been learned. This is the place many fail. This occurs namely due to a couple reasons: a) complacency, b) hopelessness, and/or c) pride.

I recall a painful experience where a stepchild inappropriately rejected me. Initially I was shocked! My feelings progressed to frustration, anxiety and resentment. This began to take a toll on my relationship and my self-esteem.
I felt deeply wronged, criticized and was told to just get over it, without the opportunity to address the issue which had progressed to “issues.”

So what to do?

Ultimately I recognized the pain and blatant disrespect had more to do with the stepchild, their ‘relational way of accepted being;’ this wasn’t personal, just simply RUDENESS allowed by their parent and other relatives, preoccupied with looking good, rather than providing clear boundaries and NECESSARY correction.
This understanding was my catalyst for change. It’s far too easy to personalize the attack and perceive it from an improper perspective and actually remain stuck there.

I still am applying steps 2 and 3 to my life circumstance. Some days are easier than others, namely because I don’t always feel supported. The thing which, helps, is to remind myself of the truth, to trump the horrific facts.
Life boils down to a quality decision. Decide optimally and you’ll renovate the mess of a life previously made in no time. Soon, your new life will be second nature.
If you will commit to this life changing way of thinking, you’ll understand, like me that “CIRCUMSTANCES DON’T MAKE ME, THEY REVEAL ME.”
Thank God we all are provided the opportunity to CHANGE.

To your greatness

Your Biggest LIFE Problem

Immediate stress relief is on the way. You don't have to wait for years to change and relive the stress in your life. Finally you and I can overcome depression, difficulty and anxiety.

Aspects of my life and so many others have been derailed lately. Maybe yours is due to finances, a relationship, or workplace issues.
Whatever the source, our biggest problem isn't talent or know how to resolve our most pressing difficulties.
It's actually the discipline to persevere, work strategically and consistently follow directions.

In the midst of persecution and mounting difficulty it's often hardest to stay the course.

You're not alone....

I got to asking myself why this occurs and what can be done to turn around our prognosis?

I began by sitting still, reflecting on what I already know and how it might be applied to the situation's currently on the windshield of my life. Here's what I discovered:

1) Remember you're never alone. At this very moment, there are numerous individuals dealing with challenges; to prevail you must do more of what you know to do without any hesitation...or at the very least get back on the recovery wagon sooner than the time before.

2) Remember to celebrate small wins. There's something I do correctly on a daily basis. When I shift my focus things change-there's a small window that emerges where I can consciously choose to re-define my mindset, an opportunity to determine what step or steps I may initiate which will get me closer to my expected end.

3) Remember how much work I've already done and accomplished toward the acquisition of my goal that I find myself stressing about. For example "This trying time has actually provided the opportunity to press into my faith at a more concrete level than I have in the past; it's provided the opportunity to practice what I preach to others and myself when I'm feeling at my best."

4) Remember my innate ability to see the big picture. I know how to clearly see through to the core of things. It's a gifting I continually develop by remaining teachable, praying in a manner that its a constant conversation, practicing theories I come up with or discover from others on myself before requiring others to join in and making adjustments as necessary. *something profound happens when we take even the smallest step toward CHANGE.

So now that you get the picture, let me challenge you to do the same in your life. Identify a circumstance that is CURRENTLY robbing you of JOY and define some concrete gifts within arms reach that can help you craft a feasible resolution.

If you're silently thinking life is hopeless and change illudes you, think about turning to the Internet. You can type a question or phrases into a search engine and within seconds all sorts of information pops up.

I do this often because I believe none of us are smarter than all of us. Some of the insight is wacky, so I quickly scan the next search engine result until I find something which personally resonates. Sometimes that concludes my search and I'll begin digesting the information; other times it leads me to a deeper search on a particular matter until I can find a place to properly camp out and learn.

I cut and paste things I locate into a Word document and print it out. I review the document over and over until I realize every discovery it can provide to my particular circumstance.

I then play with it in my real life. For instance, I'll teach it to someone else. If my approach isn't flawless, it immediately provides a short list of new objectives to place my focus to master the intended goal.

Another thing I do is go through the process identified at the beginning of this post-most importantly illiciting the help of others more knowledgable than I in a particular area or horrendously worse off than I to make certain I'm developing the proper skill-set.

Lastly put yourself on the hook for accountability. You and I solely change because of going through the tough process of revising patterns that have become comfortable, although not working particularly well for the intended destination where your and my life is waiting!

Remember the way out is Through. If you want change, you have to do some changing.

Share your setbacks, triumphs and permanent change with all of us. The Internet is waiting for your wisdom.

To your best life,

Penname Tatum