A-HA moments

So I have one more week until I've completed my Healthmonth.com competition of life change. I declared to drink 12 Glasses of water per day, practice Spanish 3 days per week and consume flour 3 days per week.

During my morning exercise, I experienced an a-ha moment! I was focused on the days I'd allow myself to consume flour this week. What I quickly realized is a better goal would have been for me to limit my intake of desserts. It really isn't flour, its dessert!

The big picture is moderation. When moderation isn't working then its important to ask the difficult question: "What am I avoiding?" or "What is it that I stopped seeing?"

I realize that sweets are fun & comforting for ME. I live a life of such constraint & restraint. I'm so responsible and its one of the few places that I indulge.

What I know for sure is "Indulging is fine, it just has to be done in moderation."

So this week I'm going to be looking for ways to embrace moderation when I want to reach for a dessert or purchase something I can live without.

I also will extend myself grace and mercy when I want to live it up....as long as its done under the umbrella of moderation.

To your greatness!

Halfway Mark

So this weeks been interesting...so many opportunities to be stressed, so many things to do & seemingly not sufficient time. However I do believe in rebounds. I've rebounded some of my time by getting up earlier, taking short breaks each day and multi-tasking in an innovative way.

I perceive most multi-tasking is done almost mindlessly. However I chose to multi-task by grouping similar duties and complementing duties together.
For example, while exercising in the mornings, I read some necessary medical journal articles. During my evening exercise I read portions of three different books I'm purposing to complete as soon as possible. While getting a pedicure, I used the time to check email, return messages & start masterminding exactly how I was going to prepare two presentations-one that was on Tuesday 2/15 & the other on Tuesday 2/22.

I got creative with one of my sessions by composing & reading a letter aloud in Spanish. The other two practice days I did while taking a long bath.

To set myself up for success with water I kept two filled bottles bottles-each 33.81 oz close to me. Each time I started thinking about how great something else other than the water would be, I'd just take a gulp of water before I gave myself the chance to nurse conflicting thoughts.

Two of the days I was out of town so I pre-packed water & drank the balance before leaving for my trip & upon return. I made an agreement with myself that I wouldn't have a glass of wine unless I had completed my water 1st.

The flour issue was a little more challenging...I LOVE desserts. I also recognize from my intense monitoring that I sincerely enjoy gravitating toward flour when I've got alot on my plate-its my miniature escape & I simply love trying desserts when they're presented in a pleasing manner.

I love to know things so I can discuss them with others. I also enjoy knowing when something isn't optimal caliber so I can alert others to NOT waste their calories.

So I succeeded, yet I owe a great deal of my success to these Trader Joe Acai Fruit Bursts. I've never really been a chocolate person, yet the hint of chocolate over fruit has literally hit the spot!

To your greatness...

Moving forward....

I've officially completed my 1st week Healthmonth.com goals. As is true in most things, it was easy at 1st and became challenging once I wanted something I had pre-chosen not to have.

I was at a cross-road. Would I choose to give in, re-interpret my goals or proceed forward toward my desire to purposely complete healthmonth....and get those Chuck Taylor's I promised myself at the end of February.

The way I got past my challenge & so can you...was to do the following:
1) Increase my circle of accountability & share my goals as well as popularize the site that I agreed to blog my journey for.

2) Plan...Plan & plan in advance what I'd eat, what days I'd eat flour, how I could carve out the time to learn Spanish as well as how I would make certain to drink enough water.

3) Question my thinking when i didn't get to have what I wanted.

These three approaches revealed that no matter how accomplished or far I perceive I've come in improving my life, there's always more re-tooling to be done.

I kept a VOSS 28.7 oz bottle of water alongside me. I usually began in the morning by downing 1 & setting another full bottle next to my keys or computer to remain congnizant of the need to drink more water-96 ounces to be exact!

I also looked at my calendar and noted the dates I was going to be in places where more than likely ther would be temptation to have flour. I pre-scheduled those dates as my days to indulge.

Last Friday I noticed a meltdown of sorts because I was tired of drinking water, wanted cookies & didn't quite feel like completing the tasks that were begging for my attention from healthmonth.com nor my personal and professional pursuits.

This inability to have what I wanted got me present with the number of times I reach for flour products; how much I truly ENJOY flour...and how much flour provides mindless comfort to me if I'm not watchful.

The marching orders for me this week are Focus, Adaptability & Confidence.

Focus on the big picture-I desire to sustain & heighten my health, physical fitness & second language communication skills.

Adaptability in my ways of handling things & speaking to myself when things don't go my way.

Confidence in my ability to sustain and continually go the distance. Even things I don't understand, I'm certain that broken down into micro steps, I will focus, adapt & achieve the desires of my heart.

To your greatness!

Resolutions REvisited Monthly

When you hear the word "resolutions" what comes to mind? If you're lucky to be naturally tenacious & focused its probably music to your ears!

If you're like the REST of the world, you'll probably resonate with the following finding "About half of all American adults (48%, according to a Marist poll taken in December) say they are at least somewhat likely to make a New Year's resolution this year. Their top vows: to lose weight (19%), quit smoking (12%) and exercise more (10%). Sound familiar?
The Marist poll also found that while 65% of people who made a resolution in 2008 kept their promise for at least part of the year, 35% never even made it out of the gate."

The $11 billion self-help industry attests to the fact that Americans, in particular, are obsessed with resolving to change and are willing to pay for it!
I perceive the missing for most of us, no matter the cost, is accountability. Even in the Times Magazine study
(Read more: http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1950511,00.html#ixzz1CpyHphbL) it appeared those who fared best were intentional, accountable & laser-like in what they purposed to accomplish.

In my personal life, professional pursuits & relationships that the best results have been cultivated and sustainable when I've been intentional, accountable & laser like in my purpose and strategy.

REvisit your resolutions DAILY or WEEKLY with Heath Month...

Health Month is an online game (located at www.healthmonth.com) which allows you & I to compete against ourselves & its 16,000...and counting other active users in striving to meet as well as supercede your goals.
I was immediately captivated by the idea and decided to engage in the challenge. I've resolved for the month on February to

Allow white flour 3 days a week
Drink at least 84 glasses of water a week
Study Spanish at least 3 days a week

The thing that I like so much about this site is its approachability. Even if you're afraid of change, it makes it pretty easy to wade in the shallows and pick a small goal. The other thing that I find attractive about this approach is the fact that you're only making yourself accountable for one month at a time.

This innovative approach allows you to REvisit your goals, get some accomplishment under your belt & manufacture motivation for the following month.

Before you know it, you'll have three months, then six & twelve. You'll finally get a taste of what it feels like to succeed in areas of your life where others have miserably failed!

Give it a go. You have so much to gain & lose all at the same time. When was the last time you had a game-plan that was a literal WIN-WIN!

To your best life....I've gotta get going and accomplish my goals.

Get yours too at www.healthmonth.com

What YOU and New Madrid, Missouri have in common?

When I mention the word earthquake, what’s the first thing you think about?
Most think about the State of California or if you recently watched 60 Minutes (April 2010), the San Francisco Oakland Bridge that’s far from being completed. This bridge is the main transportation vein for San Francisco and will generate widespread devastation if it fails to be completed before the next big earthquake.

Let's shift gears and discuss New Madrid. It’s a place many of you haven’t heard of until now. In the winter of 1811-12, the central Mississippi Valley, was struck by three of the most powerful earthquakes in U.S. history. On December 16, 1811, the violent shaking abruptly awakened residents’ of the town of New Madrid, Missouri.

Between Dec 16,1811 and February 7, 1812 the three violent earthquakes registered in at 8.6, 8.4 & 8.7 on the Richter scale. These earthquakes were stronger than the San Francisco earthquake of 1906 and the Alaskan Good Friday earthquake in 1964.

These quakes were felt from Canada to New Mexico, rang church bells in Boston, cracked log homes walls, which were 3-feet deep in St Louis and damned up the Mississippi River.

The interesting thing…

The earthquakes of that memorable winter were not freak events. On the contrary, scientists have discovered that strong earthquakes in the central Mississippi Valley have occurred on a predictable and frequent basis.

The Central United States is vulnerable to a damaging earthquake. With little or no warning, an earthquake in the New Madrid seismic zone will strike seven or more states, causing major physical, social, and economic disruption to a region that is home to forty million people.

The potential losses from future earthquakes of magnitude 6 or greater in the New Madrid seismic zone are expected to be significant, for at least three reasons: 1) the population centers, notably Memphis and St. Louis, have thousands of structures that are not designed and constructed to withstand the effects of earthquakes; 2) the region is characterized by poorly consolidated sedimentary rocks, which are poor foundation material; and 3) a New Madrid quake would impact a multi-state region (about 10 times larger than the area impacted by a California earthquake of comparable size).

What New Madrid has to do with you and I?

Your and my life, are a lot like the New Madrid seismic fault. Many pressures have been applied to the fault lines of our lives; several structures have been created in our lives, which cannot be sustained in the wake of the economic downturn. The very things we looked to as a life raft-the perfect home & marriage, the unshakable career, and a secure retirement have disappeared for millions of people. This has left many of us feeling lost, alone, disenchanted, depressed and resentful.

The only questions many are left to wrestle with, like the New Madrid impending earthquake are “when, how powerful and what can be done about it?”

The confusing part is many of us have more questions than answers. Many of us did all the “right things” & are left in the wake of a nightmare. We don’t have the resources at our disposal to create the solutions we are desperately longing for.

Reducing Vulnerability by retrofitting our infrastructure….

You and I will deal with earthquakes in life because it comes with the territory. However these earthquakes needn’t have the devastating results the impending New Madrid quake is forecast to have due to failing to create the necessary structural & transportation changes.

You and I are in the position to change our lives by creating a plan to address personal/professional/emotional/physical challenges and seizing opportunities, which present.

Lets embark on the journey by identifying your top 5 vulnerabilities:
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

**The things that came up for me were 1) perfectionism, 2) depending on my own resourcefulness, 3) pride, 4) insecurity & 5) the past.

Now that you’re aware of what you are up against, identify 5 ways, which you can respond to these vulnerabilities to recover and reclaim you life.

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)

Using the above example, my plan of escape follows. May it serve as an example to get you engaged in the process of permanent change.

To minimize the fault-line of Perfectionism, I will respond to this vulnerability by learning to ask for help. I will more quickly share what’s plaguing me with close confidants who can help shoulder the burdens I’m experiencing.

To minimize the fault-line of depending on my own resourcefulness, I will follow the same advice I’ve given myself regarding perfectionism, do a lot more listening during times of reflection, less speaking & listening for agreement i.e. during prayer, messages I listen to, advice provided from colleagues, friends and associates. I will remember that ‘none of us are as smart as all of us & none of us are islands.’

To minimize the fault-line of pride, insecurity & past regrets, I will work on becoming mindful of the ways I default to being a perfectionist and depending on my own resourcefulness. In doing so, much of the pride, insecurity and the past regrets will significantly minimize or vanish in its ability to control my thought life and behaviors.

Remember, learning without application is entertainment. Take the time to ask yourself the difficult questions and create your plan of action.

I guarantee the next time an aftershock or full on earthquake hits, you’ll be glad that you did.

To your greatness

What are you building with your life? The common denominator for breakthrough.

There are many large, extravagant homes in the world, but the Winchester Mansion stands out from the crowd because of the strange features you will find inside. For example, there are a number of staircases that literally go nowhere, stopping at the ceiling. You might think that somebody decided to close off a staircase, but actually, they were designed that way.
Some of the more functional staircases are also strange. One of them is nicknamed the "switchback staircase" because it turns seven times and has 44 steps, even though it only goes up about nine feet. Why would somebody design a staircase like that?
For that matter, why would somebody design any of the oddities in the Winchester house?

The Winchester house was under construction 24-hours a day, seven days a week, for 38 years. Eventually it spread to 160 rooms from a mere 8, but when Sarah Winchester suddenly died, the entire project came to a grinding halt.

How this correlates to our lives?

Most of us haven’t built a senseless mansion with secret rooms or staircases that don't go anywhere, but maybe your life is a terrible mess, or you live in constant fear, with a broken heart, resentment, regret or uncertainty of what your future holds.

This causes you to feel addicted and trapped like Sarah, yet for different reasons. Sarah was the wife of William Winchester, the son of the man who made the famous Winchester repeating rifle. Sarah and William had one child, a little girl named Annie, who died of a protein deficiency six weeks after birth. Fifteen years later, her husband William died of pulmonary tuberculosis, leaving her feeling lost & searching for answers.

Sarah sought answers from a psychic who indicated she and her family were under a curse due to selling Winchester riffles and the only method of escape was to move to the West Coast and build a property the way the spirits led.
Sarah was so desperate for a solution that she didn’t pay attention to the obvious-there was another way of probable escape from her loneliness. Ultimately Sarah found herself knee deep in renovation madness which ensued 24-hours per week, 365 days per year. Who in their right mind would sign up to live through constant remodeling?
I think of the many times I’ve repeatedly wrestled with frustrating esteem debilitating issues, only to believe my options were limited (or non-existent) because of failing to open myself to the possibility that things could be different.

So how do we get past our past?

You have to reduce everything down to the least common denominator.
The common denominator is the same all the time. You can work the common denominator and ultimately arrive at an answer. There is a feasible answer to each troubling question, no matter the situation, which WORKS.
Discovering the common denominator is the ONLY way to get past our past. It reveals the quality decision needing to be made, including the measurable, actionable steps.

1st: Face the truth about the situation we are dealing with. Honestly describe what you’re dealing with and TEMPORARILY grieve the circumstance. You’re human; hurt, anguish and defeat are normal emotions.

2nd: Identify solutions and those resources (people, books, cd’s, etc), which helps to conquer the circumstance, repeatedly undermining you.

3rd: Get moving by actively applying what’s been learned. This is the place many fail. This occurs namely due to a couple reasons: a) complacency, b) hopelessness, and/or c) pride.

I recall a painful experience where a stepchild inappropriately rejected me. Initially I was shocked! My feelings progressed to frustration, anxiety and resentment. This began to take a toll on my relationship and my self-esteem.
I felt deeply wronged, criticized and was told to just get over it, without the opportunity to address the issue which had progressed to “issues.”

So what to do?

Ultimately I recognized the pain and blatant disrespect had more to do with the stepchild, their ‘relational way of accepted being;’ this wasn’t personal, just simply RUDENESS allowed by their parent and other relatives, preoccupied with looking good, rather than providing clear boundaries and NECESSARY correction.
This understanding was my catalyst for change. It’s far too easy to personalize the attack and perceive it from an improper perspective and actually remain stuck there.

I still am applying steps 2 and 3 to my life circumstance. Some days are easier than others, namely because I don’t always feel supported. The thing which, helps, is to remind myself of the truth, to trump the horrific facts.
Life boils down to a quality decision. Decide optimally and you’ll renovate the mess of a life previously made in no time. Soon, your new life will be second nature.
If you will commit to this life changing way of thinking, you’ll understand, like me that “CIRCUMSTANCES DON’T MAKE ME, THEY REVEAL ME.”
Thank God we all are provided the opportunity to CHANGE.

To your greatness

FEAR…its time to Spring Forward

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves-regret from the past and fear of the future. Which face of fear has its hands clinched around your neck?”
-Dr. Kasmin Boswell

This past Saturday we had to spring forward by moving our clocks one hour ahead. This is poetic because it happens to coincide with our need to spring past fear.
Few things in life create more worry, stress & fear than your future. If you take the right steps today, tomorrow is guaranteed to take care of itself. Allow me to explain…

Fear is one of those things we often experience through ‘feelings,’ yet don’t exactly know how to pinpoint. If you’re like me, you sometimes find yourself frustrated, depressed or melancholy without knowing fully why.

To better understand the many faces of fear, you and I are wise to name them. I’ve listed the most common “fear friends” thereby enabling you to gain a better grasp of what you and I are up against.

The Insecure One- This fear causes your self-esteem to diminish or “appear to have” completely disappear. You fixate on people as objects, rather than persons. You fixate so much on your “issues” that you have no time left to forge toward a viable solution or meaningful connection with anyone else. This fear sees everyone as your means to an end.

The Distorted One- This fear causes you go to extremes i.e. “I’m all alone.” “Nobody loves me.” “I’ll never love again.” You rarely deal with truth because you’re knee deep in battle with shadows, rather than the real issue.

The Victimized One- This fear causes you to feel there’s no way of escaping your pain.

The Stressed One- This fear causes you to feel immobilized; it cripples and criticizes you. You’re emotionally and physically affected.

The Mistaken One- This fear causes radical theft of your identity. This fear takes more than it gives. You might swear you’re too empty to possibly make any deposits into anyone else’s life. You tell yourself if you help someone else, they’ll be little or no time left to think about your problems. Left unhandled, it’ll steal the truth you already know about yourself and situations you find yourself addressing.

The Paralyzed One- This fear causes fear of taking another step and steals your joy. It alienates you from access to the truth you already know.

The Complacent One-This fear leaves us fine with being the victim & telling our story to whoever will listen. We become emotional vampires. Sucking life out of once treasured relationships. This fear tears at the core of intimacy in our relationships because we are too busy protecting ourselves, to do whatever ultimately needs to be done to preserve and/or strengthen relationships.

The Regretful One – This fear causes you to feel as though you can’t be transparent because of believing there’s too much ‘regret’ to overcome. This fear whispers, ‘why bother.’

The Isolated One- This fear causes us to be afraid to share our fear(s) with anyone else; or at least the one’s who can actually help. This fear convinces you that TRANSPARENCY is for weak people & if you’re SMART you’ll tough it out or do what you already have been doing.

I recently discovered Neurosurgeon Dr. Ben Carson’s book “Take The Risk.” In it, he teaches an excellent Best Case/Worst Case Scenario exercise. The bare bones of this approach, is to ask 4 key questions. They are:

-What's the best that can happen if I do this?

-What's the worst that can happen if I do this?

-What's the best that can happen if I don't do this?

-What's the worst that can happen if I don't do this?

Though these questions can be insightful when answered, yet don’t FULLY help you with application to your real life circumstance or help to determine how you will navigate past the grips of FEAR staring you in the face. I’d like to share six points, which inspire me to keep moving and to never let fear overtake me! Keep in mind, fear will come; just don’t allow it to stay.

How you and I may respond to fear

1) Surrender. Recognize you don’t know ALL the answers. Remove pride and ego from your life. Hint: pride and ego are present in the places you immediately think to hide, misrepresent issues or engage in negative self-talk to keep you from proceeding ahead.

2) Resist the tendency to blame yourself or anyone else.

3) Draw near to resources that will sustain you and create a foundation for you to flourish. This shifts your focus from the problem to the solution and/or possibility.

4) Deal with what you’re doing incorrectly. Clean up your stuff. Ex. If you have issues with someone or notice a circumstance, keeps resurfacing, get past it. Getting past "it" includes writing a letter to confess or face the issue; create a strategy to forgive or accept (them or it) and bring closure.

5) Shift your motives. Do everything from a place of humility. Recognize that everything in life isn’t about you. The best life is spent in contribution and commitment to continual learning.

6) Recognize wimpy theology, makes for a wimpy life. You have to choose to be strong and courageous even in the midst of horrific setbacks. Each time you refuse to crumble under pressure, growth occurs. As you grow, you better adapt in the handling of difficult circumstances.

This is a call to mature in faith, courage and integrity. This only occurs through being alert, aware, growing in maturity, being reliable, responsible and inter-dependent.

“Until you see fear for what it is, you’ll remain unable to get your priorities in life straight. Everything else will suffer.”
-Dr. Kasmin Boswell